The whole thing was just a huge mess – and, for once in this strangest of seasons, medical exemptions had absolutely nothing to do with it. The tennis world needed a little light relief after the extraordinary drama of the past 24 hours, and right on cue it came from above.
Not that Reilly Opelka was laughing. Facing fellow American Maxime Cressy for a place in the last eight of the Melbourne Summer Set, Opelka found himself on the receiving end of an unwanted deposit from a passing bird.
“Sorry, I just got shit on,” said Opelka, bearing his soiled cap gingerly in one hand as he walked to the chair with Cressy serving at 4-4 in the second set.
Greeted by a quizzical look from the chair umpire, the second seed, whose shaggy mane means appropriate headgear is a must, ventured an explanation in his customary temperate manner.
“I can’t fucking see, a bird shit on me,” said Opelka, delving into his bag for a replacement. “What do you want me to do?”
But as the hirsute world No 26 produced a fresh cap, the umpire cried foul, insisting the logo contravened ATP rules. “Just ask your coach to give you one, the one he has on his head,” he suggested helpfully.
Ever a faithful adherent to the principles of brand loyalty, Opelka pointed out that he was not about to sport headwear produced by anyone other than his clothing sponsor – whereupon the obliging official offered to clean the cap for him.
“I don’t really want to play with shit on my head,” said Opelka, not unreasonably.
Every avenue was explored. Could the American not use a towel to clear up the mess, the umpire wondered? “You’re ridiculous,” Opelka shot back. How about trying the one offered by Diego the ballboy? Too small.
Opelka eventually decided to take matters into his own hands, returning to the court with the be-logoed cap. Cue a decisive intervention from the match official, who – braving the danger overhead – ventured on to the arena to offer the American an official tournament hat pending the retrieval of a more suitable alternative from Opelka’s locker.
To compound Opelka’s misery, he was beaten 4-6, 7-6( 7-5), 7-6 (11-9) after twice holding a match point. A feather in the cap for the 112th-ranked Cressy, one might say.