The expression on Rafael Nadal’s face spoke of anguish, concern, disbelief.
Anguish that he had just pulled up sharply after lunging for a forehand as he trailed Mackenzie McDonald by a set and a break. Concern about what it would mean for his defence of the Australian Open title. Disbelief that, after struggling with a career-threatening foot injury, a cracked rib and two abdominal tears over the past year, he had suffered a fresh setback at the worst of moments, and on the very same stage where he was forced to retire with a torn hip flexor against Marin Cilic five years ago.
A couple of points after his hip gave way, the Spaniard abandoned an attempt to run down a scorching McDonald forehand. At that moment, as he crouched in front of his box in evident distress, he must have known it was all over. Yet, driven by the magnitude of the occasion and his respect for an opponent whose outstanding ball-striking may well have earned him the win irrespective of Nadal’s plight, the 36-year-old refused to quit.
Nadal, who limped his way through the latter stages of a 6-4, 6-4, 7-5 defeat, said afterwards that he was “mentally destroyed” by the manner of his exit.
“I considered all the time stopping, but I didn’t ask the physiotherapist,” said Nadal. “I have to know myself. I tried to keep playing without increasing the damage, that’s it. I was not able to hit the backhand at all. I was not able to run for the ball. But I just wanted to finish the match.
“I didn’t want to retire, being the defending champion here. I didn’t want to leave the court with a retirement. Better like this at the end. I lost. Nothing to say. Congratulate the opponent.
“It’s a tough moment,” added Nadal. “I can’t say that I am not destroyed mentally at this time, because I would be lying.”
After a fallow period that has now brought just two wins from his past nine outings, many will wonder how much more his ailing physique can endure. Following last summer’s epic Wimbledon win over Taylor Fritz, when he pushed through the pain of a torn abdominal muscle despite his family’s pleas to stop, this was the second time in six months he has pushed his body beyond the natural limits of endurance. There were no such interventions from his box on this occasion, although the sight of his wife, Maria, wiping away tears summed up the prevailing mood.
Nadal has consistently played down talk of following Roger Federer into retirement. He put Alexander Zverev in his place earlier this week after the German predicted that he would retire at Roland Garros this summer – “I have a very good relationship with Zverev, but not enough to confess something like that to him,” said Nadal – and he reaffirmed his commitment to the game following his loss.
“I really hope that this doesn’t put me out for a long time, because then it’s tough to make all the recovery again,” said Nadal. “I went through this process too many times in my career, and I am ready to keep doing that, but it’s not easy, without a doubt.”
Nadal’s difficulties should not eclipse an outstanding performance by McDonald. The 65th-ranked American showed admirable self-belief, happily exchanging baseline blows with the 22-time grand slam champion and frequently forcing him into the corners with his flatter ball-striking. The 27-year-old broke twice in each of the first two sets, on each occasion reasserting his authority when Nadal replied in kind, and coped well with the tricky task of handling a lame opponent in the third.
“With him, it’s never over until it’s over,” said McDonald, who will meet Japan’s Yoshihito Nishioka, the 31st seed, in the third round. “He didn’t even want to roll over and quit. He kept fighting until basically the end, even though he maybe didn’t have all his game.”
The wider question, perhaps, is why Nadal, who became a father in October, should want to keep fighting at all, especially after his earliest exit at a major in seven years. His answer, in spite of a lingering farewell to Rod Laver Arena that had a hint of finality about it, was characteristically clear.
“It’s a very simple thing: I like what I do,” said Nadal. “I like playing tennis. I know it’s not forever. I like to feel myself competitive. I like to fight for the things that I have been fighting for almost half of my life or even more.
“And that’s it. It’s not that complicated to understand, no? When you like to do one thing, at the end, sacrifices always make sense.”