Shriver reveals ‘traumatic’ affair with coach as 17-year-old

by Love Game Tennis Staff

Pam Shriver has revealed that she became involved in an “inappropriate and damaging relationship” with Don Candy, the Australian coach who presided over her formative years in the game.

Shriver, a former world No 1 doubles player who won 22 grand slam titles before establishing a successful career as a TV commentator and pundit, said she had decided to tell her story because she believes “abusive coaching relationships” remain “alarmingly common” in sport.

The 59-year-old told the Daily Telegraph that her affair with Candy, who was 33 years older than her, began when she was 17 and lasted for five years. Candy first coached Shriver when she was nine and was in her corner when she reached the final of the US Open in 1978, at the age of 16. It was the following year that Shriver – who described how she first began to have feelings for him three years earlier – told the 50-year-old she was falling in love with him.

“This is where things could and should have taken a different turn,” wrote Shriver. “If Don had been better informed, he might have been cannier about the potential complications that come with coaching an adolescent girl. Clearly, he wasn’t a predator. When I spoke up in the rental car, he didn’t know what to do. But he had this great prospect, a US Open runner-up at 16, and he didn’t want to let me go.  

“I still have conflicted feelings about Don. Yes, he and I became involved in a long and inappropriate affair. Yes, he was cheating on his wife. But there was a lot about him that was honest and authentic. And I loved him. Even so, he was the grown-up here. He should have been the trustworthy adult. In a different world, he would have found a way to keep things professional.”

Shriver said any abuse she suffered at the hands of Candy, who died in June 2020 at the age of 91, was emotional rather than sexual. Their relationship began the year after her breakthrough run at Flushing Meadows, at a time when Shriver was struggling to come to terms with her elevated status in the game and suffering a poor sequence of results. The jealousy she felt towards Candy’s wife Elaine was exacerbated by a sense of isolation.

“I felt so many horrendous emotions and I felt so alone,” wrote Shriver. “The worst would be my anger and jealousy when his wife came to tournaments. In fact, Elaine was lovely. I don’t think she ever knew what was going on. If she did, she kept it to herself. But every time she showed up, we had to completely flip the way we were coexisting.  

“It was horrible. I can’t even tell you how many nights I just sobbed in my room – and then had to go out and play a match the next day. Very often, Elaine would arrive just in time for the slams: Wimbledon or the US Open. Now I can see that my most disappointing results often correlated with these moments. So, even from the most pragmatic perspective, I look back and think, ‘Jeez, was this good for your tennis?’”

Recognising the need for change, Shriver eventually parted ways with Candy in 1984 and went on to enjoy the strongest four seasons of her career, winning 15 singles titles and completing a calendar-year grand slam alongside long-term doubles partner Martina Navratilova. They remain the only women’s doubles pair in history to have completed the feat.

Shriver called for better education of young athletes and coaches, but said it would require a united push from the sport’s various governing bodies – the ATP, WTA, ITF, and the four grand slams – to bring about meaningful change. 

“I can think of at least one encouraging precedent,” wrote Shriver. “Back in the mid-1990s, the women’s tour asked a panel of experts how it could protect very young girls from over-exposure. The age-eligibility rule has since extended careers, taking lessons from the early retirements of Andrea Jaeger, Tracy Austin, Jennifer Capriati and others. Today, it’s time for a similar expert panel to address the topic of coaching abuses.”

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